Just the other day, I was having a conversation over coffee with my new friend, who is the director of our local Adult Protective Services (APS) organization. I wanted to pick her brain about spotting signs of elder abuse—a topic that has become increasingly relevant in my work as a Daily Money Manager. I had always known that elder abuse was a significant issue, but the insights she shared were both eye-opening and deeply saddening.

She told me a troubling statistic: 80% of confirmed elder abuse cases involve family members as the perpetrators. Often, the driving force behind such behavior is the desire to protect inheritances. In some cases, the abuser doesn’t even realize that what they’re doing is wrong and qualifies as abuse and they may just be in over their head or not equipped to handle the responsibilities they have been given.

However, she stressed that elder abuse isn’t limited to family members—caregivers, too, can pose a serious threat. We both shared stories of vulnerable seniors being taken advantage of by those they trust. This conversation reinforced the importance of vigilance in recognizing the signs of elder abuse, especially for those of us who work closely with seniors.

In this blog post, I want to share the valuable insights I gained from this conversation, numerous discussions with other Daily Money Managers, and my own experience. If you’re a senior who hires caregivers or if you have a senior loved one in your life, these tips can help you identify potential abuse and take action.

Signs of Elder Abuse

Elder abuse can take many forms, including physical, emotional, and financial. Unfortunately, elder abuse is not a black-and-white issue. The signs can be subtle. Here are some of the signs to watch for:

Signs of Physical Abuse and Neglect in Seniors

• Poor hygiene: Neglect may result in poor personal hygiene, dirty clothing, or unsanitary living conditions. If the senior is not able to keep up with these things on their own, they may need in-home care or other help to make sure these basic needs are being met.
• Unattended medical needs: Look for untreated medical conditions or a lack of necessary medications. This could include medications prescribed by a doctor but not being taken due to cost. While a senior may choose not to take medications recommended by a doctor due to cost, caregivers are required to act in the senior’s interest, not their own. This also can often come in the form of elders not getting the nursing care they need such as being turned in bed if they are bed-bound.
• Unexplained injuries: Look for bruises, cuts, or burns that can’t be easily explained. Don’t be afraid to ask questions!
• Frequent hospital visits: Multiple visits to the emergency room for injuries may be a red flag. Keep in mind that many seniors may experience more trips to the emergency room due to common issues such as falls, dehydration, and related issues. So in these cases it’s important to confirm that the appropriate protective actions are being taken to try to avoid injury as much as possible. 

Signs of Emotional Abuse in Seniors

• Behavioral changes: Watch for signs of depression, anxiety, being withdrawn, or sudden changes in personality. Seniors are often in a position to have to rely on others more and more, so they are particularly vulnerable to being manipulated.  Abusers may talk to them in a degrading way either to gain control over them, or in some cases just because they are experiencing a high level of stress due to their caregiving responsibilities.
• Isolation: Abusers often isolate their victims from friends and family to exert control. This is especially prominent when the abuser’s actions are intentional and they do not want others to see the signs of abuse.

Signs of Financial Abuse in Seniors

• Unusual financial activity: Review bank statements for unusual withdrawals or changes in spending patterns. This is especially important when debit cards are given to caregivers to help the senior with their shopping or day to day expenses. There are software services that are helpful in identifying expenses at unusual places, but they cannot evaluate every line item that is being spent. Caregivers are smart enough to know how to avoid detection. If you or someone you love has a caregiver who has access to a debit card, insist that the caregiver provide itemized receipts of every purchase they make on that card, and review the purchases to make sure they only include items that are for the senior. If you need help, consider hiring a professional such as a Daily Money Manager to provide this account monitoring service for you.
• Other people named on accounts: Any time someone other than the senior is named on a bank account as a joint owner or authorized signer, it is an opportunity for abuse.  Of course, this is a very valid scenario in some cases, but it should be reserved for people that have a legal fiduciary obligation to the senior to act in their interest, such as Power of Attorney, Daily Money Manager with a proper contract in place with the senior.
• Missing valuables: Keep an eye on personal belongings, cash, or important documents may go missing. I recommend keeping very little, if any, cash on hand as that is an easy target for caregivers to take without being noticed, and very hard to prove that someone took it.
• Excessive gifts: This one can be tricky. Like all of us, seniors have the right to do what they want with their own money as long as they are mentally competent to make those decisions. This includes giving money away and even making poor decisions with their finances.  However, if the person receiving the money is taking advantage of the senior, if there are subtle signs of emotional abuse, and/or if the senior is neglecting their own financial needs (including setting money aside for the high cost of future healthcare), it might be a sign that abuse is occurring.

The bottom line is that anyone acting in any type of caregiving role for a senior should be acting in the senior’s best interest, not their own.  Trust your gut.  If you see something that doesn’t align with that, it might warrant a closer look.

What Should I Do if I Suspect Elder Abuse?

See Something, Say Something

It’s a common saying, but it is so important. Seniors are so much more vulnerable to abuse, and because of the nature of the situation seniors are in, the abuse is often something the senior will not feel comfortable reporting and may need someone to advocate for them.

Especially in the case where emotional abuse is involved, the senior is likely to feel hesitant to accuse someone (typically a family member or trusted caregiver) of taking advantage of them. They may be afraid of offending the person, damaging the relationship, or even of the abuse getting worse. Or they may just not feel confident and empowered to take action on their own.

If you see something that doesn’t seem right, report the situation to the Center for Abuse.  They are equipped to do a proper investigation of the situation and make a determination whether abuse is occurring, and make recommendations on what actions can be taken to protect the senior from the abuse going forward. They also have resources to work with the caregivers to make sure they understand their responsibilities as caregiver and help connect with resources they may need to be able to handle those responsibilities.

How to Report Elder Abuse

If you suspect elder abuse, it’s crucial to take action promptly. Here’s what you can do:

• Contact Adult Protective Services (APS):
  • Every state has an APS agency that investigates reports of elder abuse. You can find contact information for your local APS agency through the National Adult Protective Services Association (NAPSA) website. APS will conduct an investigation to determine if abuse is occurring.  They will inform the senior if someone is acting inappropriately and make recommendations to them on actions they can take to protect themselves.  They will also assist the senior in reporting the abuse to law enforcement if the senior wants to do so.
• Call the Eldercare Locator:
  • The Eldercare Locator is a nationwide service that connects older adults and their families with local resources. You can reach them at 1-800-677-1116 or visit their website.
• Notify Law Enforcement:
  • In cases of immediate danger, don’t hesitate to call 911 or your local police department.

Offer To Help

Most people think that as we get older, our adult children and loved ones will help us. But the harsh reality is that not everyone has trusted loved ones who are able (or sometimes willing) to help.

If you have the time and ability, consider offering to help the senior you suspect is being abused. But before taking on this responsibility, read on… it’s important to understand the responsibilities that come with taking on a caregiver role for a senior.

If you don’t have the ability to take on a caregiving role yourself, consider offering to help the senior interview and select professional, qualified caregivers that have a strong reputation for acting in the best interest of their client.

Senior Caregiver Responsibilities

Another statistic I heard from my friend at coffee was that 1 in 5 people in the United States are in some type of caregiver role to an adult.  Many people are in that role out of good intentions to help a loved one, but they have not received any training or education on what that really means, so they may be unaware of what it takes, what resources are available to them, and what their responsibilities are. 

Not all abuse is intentional. Most of us don’t have experience in a caregiver role when we take on that role for a loved one, so we just do our best and figure it out as we go. Sadly, it is not uncommon for abuse to occur simply because the person taking on the caregiver role is not aware of what is appropriate and inappropriate.

Taking on a caregiver role comes with a high level of responsibility. If you are one of the many people in a caregiver role, spend time educating yourself on what your responsibilities are and what resources are available to you. 

Conclusion

Elder abuse is a serious and heartbreaking issue that requires our attention and action. By staying informed about the responsibilities of being a caregiver and the signs of elder abuse, we can act as an advocate for the seniors in our lives.

If you suspect abuse, don’t hesitate to reach out to the appropriate authorities and take action. Remember, safeguarding the well-being of seniors is a collective responsibility.

If you have any questions or need assistance with managing finances for aging seniors, feel free to reach out to us at Advocate Money Management for a free consultation. We’re here to help you navigate these important and sometimes challenging aspects of daily money management.

Let’s work together to ensure our seniors are treated with the respect, dignity, and care they deserve.

Don’t forget to bookmark the Money Morsels blog and check back often for more resources!

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Do you have experience with observing or reporting Elder Abuse? Share your experience and lessons you learned with our readers in the comments below!