When I first started managing my elderly parents’ finances, I thought, “Hey, I’ve got this!” After all, I’ve always been good with money. I’ve helped friends with their budgets, managed my own finances like a pro, and even juggled multi-million dollar budgets at work. How hard could it be to handle my parents’ much simpler finances? Well, let’s just say I was in for a surprise. Unwinding the spider web of spending that had been spiraling out of control for years was no piece of cake. It was more like trying to untangle a ball of yarn that a very mischievous cat had gotten into.

I quickly realized that managing elderly parents’ finances is a whole different ball game. Medicare alone could be a full-time job (seriously, that’s a whole series of blog posts waiting to happen). Then there’s the cost of living, medical billing, options for assisted living and in-home care, and the relentless scammers targeting the elderly. And let’s not forget the added challenges of dementia or cognitive decline—lost credit cards, misplaced keys, unsafe driving, and unwise donations to dubious causes. It was overwhelming, to say the least. I had to put myself through constant boot camps to get up to speed on all these new topics.

If you’re part of the “sandwich generation” like me – balancing a career and maybe even a family of your own – you know the stress can be overwhelming… like juggling flaming torches. While riding a unicycle. Without ever learning how to juggle or ride a unicycle! It’s a delicate balance that requires patience, organization, and a good sense of humor.

But don’t worry, we’ve got your back! This post has some tips to help you avoid burnout and manage stress while taking care of your parents’ finances.

1. Get Organized

First things first, get those finances in order. Create a system that works for you, whether it’s a digital spreadsheet, a physical binder, or a combination of both. There is no right or wrong answer, so do what works for you! And remember, you can always come back and update your system later to make it more efficient… the key is just to get started. Keep track of all important documents, such as bank statements, insurance policies, and bills. This will save you time and reduce stress when you need to find something quickly. Advocate Money Management offers a proven methodology called the Life Log to help guide you through the process and make sure you don’t miss anything.

2. Automate Bill Payments

One of the easiest ways to lighten your load is to automate bill payments. Set up automatic payments for recurring bills like utilities, mortgage, and insurance. This ensures that bills are paid on time and reduces the risk of missed payments. Plus, it’s one less thing for you to worry about! Caution: Don’t forget to consider timing to make sure the money needed to pay those bills comes in before the bill is pulled out, and don’t let those infrequent bills like license renewals or real estate taxes catch you off-guard. It’s always a good idea to closely monitor the accounts for the first year to make sure everything is going to plan.

3. Monitor for Unusual Activity

If your parent has dementia or even slight cognitive decline, it’s crucial to keep an eye on their financial accounts for any unusual activity. Regularly review bank statements and credit card bills to catch any red flags early. There are plenty of tools available to help automate this task, from account & budget monitoring tools, credit and title monitoring services, and more. Be patient with your loved one if they fall for a scam and use it as an opportunity to educate them. If the trend continues, you may also want to consider giving your loved one a pre-paid debit card like True Link that allows you to control the types of places and categories they spend their money as a safeguard or implementing other solutions that provide healthy and un-intrusive guardrails to keep them safe.

4. Delegate Tasks

You don’t have to do it all alone. Recruit a team to help. Delegate tasks to other family members or hire a professional daily money manager. If family is available, consider hiring a Daily Money Manager, care manager, or other professionals that can help take some of the burden off you. Advocate Money Management offers an array of services that can help you stay on top of your parents’ finances without the stress. From bill payment services to organizing finances, we’ve got you covered.

5. Take Care of Yourself

This one cannot be stressed enough! It’s easy to forget about your own needs when you’re busy taking care of everyone else. But self-care is essential to avoid burnout. Make time for activities that you enjoy, whether it’s reading a book, going for a walk, or having coffee with a friend. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

6. Seek Support

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Join a support group for caregivers or seek advice from friends who are in similar situations. Sometimes, just talking about your challenges can make a big difference. Search for online forums for ideas on creative solutions to help you protect your loved one while letting them maintain their independence. Still not sure how to handle a specific situation? Advocate Money Management doesn’t just offer full-service money management… we offer consulting packages to help you be successful in managing your parents’ finances.

7. Plan for the Future

It’s never too early to start planning for the future. Discuss long-term care options with your parents and other family members. We can’t stress this part enough… do this as early as possible after getting things under control! It is much easier for someone who is aging to digest the thought of a “theoretical” need they might have “someday” than it is to introduce the idea when the need is urgent. Make sure you have legal documents in place, such as a power of attorney and a will. Daily Money Managers like Advocate Money Management can help you understand basic options, and other professionals like CPAs and estate planning attorneys can be well worth the cost in this stage to put the right option in place. Planning ahead can reduce stress and ensure that your parents’ wishes are honored.

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What Next?

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Feeling overwhelmed? Let us help you get started. Schedule a free consultation with us today to tell us about your situation and find out if we may be able to help. Managing your elderly parents’ finances doesn’t have to be a solo journey. Add us to your team and let’s all do this together!